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Welcome to video 17 in our challenge series! This challenge is created to help you make the space in your life to begin your journey to Empty Nest Success. Don't hesitate to log in and ask questions in the comment section!
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What are three words you would use to describe yourself?
Can you come up with three that have nothing to do with being a parent?
How has being a parent impacted your sense of identity?
"What would we find you doing if money was no object and you had all the free time in the world?"
Was there something today that brought you joy/made you laugh/got your creative juices going? If not, take a look at this list for some ideas of things you may want to try in the future.
Beautiful soul, amazing human, welcome to video 17. Let's dive in and watch the original video and then I will share a few thoughts.
00:10 The topic today, who are you? Much of what I share may be applied to any area of your life. But I have a special place in my heart for parents struggling with the Empty Nest years. Do you feel like you've been a parent for so long that you don't know who you are without this title? I challenge you today to describe yourself without using your parental role or responsibilities. What are your hobbies? Do love to laugh or make others laugh? Are you really brave? What would we find you doing if money was no object and you had all the free time in the world? For your journal today, ask yourself what are three words that describe me that have nothing to do with being a parent, as always have fun with this exercise and remember, you are amazing.
01:02 Okay, let's be real for a minute. If you have an identity outside of parenthood, and you're totally fine with the Empty Nest, I'm gonna guess you're probably not watching this video. For most of us, parenting has, even if it didn't immerse us completely in the beginning - excuse my cat here - It has, over the 18 plus 20 plus years of being a parent, has slowly become to take over. It makes sense. It is a lot easier to focus on our children than it is to focus on ourselves. Let's think about it: what is more comfortable natural for you at this moment is it to sit alone with your thoughts and process out who you are and to reflect on who you are as a human? Or is it to jump into assisting your kiddo; helping your child to do something - your adult child, your little child, all the children. It's typically easier to help someone on the outside because that's an autopilot mode.
02:18 If you think about our analogy that's like our autopilots. Some people call it sleepwalking. You could call it the matrix - you're going through the motions of life and it's way easier to take care of others and do that than to take the time to invest in yourself and to consider it doesn't have to be huge, all at once. But start with two minutes, start with five minutes and notice your thoughts, then begin to clear it out and figure out this amazing puzzle. Uncover who you are. You are here, you have always been here. You have just covered her up unknowingly you have been taught to do nothing else but that in life, you have been taught to take care of others; you have been taught to do things; you have been taught to behave certain ways. You have, more than likely, not been encouraged to say [to yourself] "Hey, how are you feeling about that? No, like, really...how are you feeling? Let me hold space for you. Let out your thoughts." Hear yourself talk. Be kind and curious about the thoughts that are going on in your head about the things that you are saying. You may say things that go, "Oh, why did I say that?" It's It's okay.
03:58 Curious, kind and loving because by thinking the things and noticing the things, you can start to begin to look at the thought-box delivery. How is it feeling? Where did I get this thought from? Is it something that makes sense for me? Do I want to keep it? By doing this you clear space for you and allow you to discover who you are with less drama in your life from all these high alert boxes, you begin to have peace and understanding about yourself. It's freaking amazing. You're amazing. Be kind to yourself because you are a parent, you are a parent. I'm not asking you to ignore the fact that you're a parent. I'm asking you to discover who you are outside of a parent, because you're freaking amazing. If you think about the moment your child was home for the first time, whether you adopted; you had your kid at home, or whatever, the situation - hospital - you bring your kid home, and you've had all nine months, or plus or less to prepare to think about this.
05:26 And that moment that you were home alone with your child, first child, if you have many, and remember that feeling, remember how you felt? Who am I? You figured it out. You got here. You did a great job. Now you're on the other side. You have made it to where some parents don't have the privilege to get there, here. You've done it. You're here. It is a goal for our kids to launch. They might be back home. And that's okay, too. This transition continues through our life. I want to encourage you that if you take the time to, maybe not get all of this at once and understand it, but even if it's begin paying attention to your thoughts and clearing out a little drama, you are going to find a little more ease in your life and a little more light shining internally on who you are, so you can begin to think, "Do I really like these things?" to the thing that I'm doing every week?
Do I like it? Is it fun? Is it is the time done serving me? Done? Maybe that was just for a point in my life.
06:50 And you begin to explore throughout all these little things what if I am here? What if? What do I look like? What things energize me? What things bring me peace? And through questions like that over time, you will discover who you are. Do I know who you are know? No. I'm figuring out who I am. I have a pretty good idea who I am right now. But who I might be in a month or six months from now. I'm excited to meet her. And I hope that you feel that way about yourself. So who am I? I don't have the answer for you today, but I'm excited for your journey in discovering who you are. So much fun. Journal stuff, you know the deal by now. It's all below. You're amazing. Bye. See you next time!